I moved across the country for a guy, and he broke up with me shortly after. A year later, here's wh
- In 2021, I quit my job and moved from Delaware to Colorado for a guy.
- Months after I moved states for him, he broke up with me.
- It's been over a year since the breakup, and I've learned some valuable lessons.
At the end of 2021, I quit my job, packed up my apartment in Delaware, and moved across the country to Boulder, Colorado. My boyfriend had moved to Boulder earlier that year, and I decided to move out west to join him and move in with him.
Once I got to Colorado, things didn't quite go how I'd hoped. A few months after I moved, my boyfriend broke up with me. It felt as if my world had shattered. I suddenly found myself in a new state with no partner, no job, no friends, and nowhere to live.
When you lose the entire life you know, you get the opportunity to create a whole new one. And I did.
It's been a year since the breakup. Here are a few things I've learned.
Friends are invaluable
When I found myself alone in a new state, I realized how important friendships were. I mean the kinds of friends who will support you, encourage you, adventure with you, and help you get through whatever life brings.
I've always had friends, but I've never needed friendship as much as I did after the breakup. I put a ton of energy into making friends, and a year later I have some of the best friends of my life. I've never quite valued friendship as much as I do now, and I'm so thankful for the deep, genuine friendships in my life.
Happiness takes effort, but it can be found wherever you live
I truly believe you can find happiness wherever you are. I've lived in several states that aren't usually at the top of people's lists, yet I've been happy in all of them.
Then, I found myself in Colorado, an objectively desirable place to live. Yet I was anything but happy. Just because you live in a cool place like Colorado doesn't mean you'll instantly be happy. It still takes effort.
After the breakup, I made it my personal goal to enjoy Colorado to the fullest — and if I still didn't like it after a year, I'd move. I've had to really think about what makes me happy and what to prioritize to create a life that I love.
I moved into my own place, attended meetup groups and hosted meetup hikes to make friends, worked on my business so I could support myself, and did activities by myself so I could explore Colorado. After a year, I have no plans of moving anytime soon, and I'm so proud of myself for that.
Being single is a gift
After the breakup, I was single for the longest period of time since I got my first boyfriend at age 16. Being single is truly a gift. It's allowed me to pour energy into friendships, become more confident on my own, and do a lot of self-reflection. I needed to create my own life and be happy on my own before I could start dating again.
You're stronger than you think you are
The breakup and the months after were some of the hardest times of my life. I was devastated, and the thought of building a new life in Colorado felt overwhelming. But when you hit rock bottom, there's nowhere to go but up. I realized I was so much stronger than I gave myself credit for.
I realized it was OK to take risks and try new things. And if that risk doesn't work out the way you hoped it would — if you find yourself in a version of a worst-case scenario — you'll find a way to be OK.
I don't regret moving to Colorado at all. I've grown so much, and so many good things in my life would have never happened if not for the breakup.
Watch: My girlfriend and I asked my family questions about love and relationships
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